


I Can't Change (But I Can Lose my Loneliness)

by orphan_account



Series: Percy Weasley Needs a Damn Hug [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: But not really bashing, Coming Out, F/M, Family Issues, Fred Weasley Lives, Gay Percy Weasley, Gay Ron Weasley, Heteronormativity, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Slurs, M/M, Most of the characters are mentioned, POV Percy Weasley, Percy has an intense secret life that his family doesn't know about, Period-Typical Homophobia, Ron Feels, Ron is really brave, Secret Relationships, The Weasleys are a little homophobic in this one, There's a lot of growth they need to do, but they'll get there, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2020-10-26 07:29:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20738504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The family dinners at the Weasley house are nothing noteworthy for Percy Weasley. A way to stay in the loop with his family, but nothing more. He's the lonely Weasley, the boring Weasley, the one who wasn't on their side in the war. When Ron comes out, he decides to be the supportive Weasley for once.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was so much fun to write. I don't know if the Weasleys would be homophobic or not, but I do think that in the 90s, the twins might go too far with their jokes, and Molly and Arthur wouldn't quite understand right away. But they love Ron and Percy! So things will turn out okay. There's a wee bit of mentioned Perciver too, because I love love love it. Enjoy!

The Weasleys were holding court in their own little way, same as every Sunday. The big table piled with food, laughter ringing out as George told a particularly good joke. Percy often felt horribly out of place in this picture of domestic bliss.

His mother smiling at all the little couples, Bill and Fleur, George and Angelina, Fred and Katie. Ron and Hermione and Harry and Ginny, when they were together. Now, Molly looked a little dismayed every time Ginny and her American boyfriend came in. 

Harry and Hermione always sat together with Ron, because apart, the three looked terribly lonely. 

Percy probably looked lonely. He didn’t fit at the Burrow anymore. He belonged to someone else now. Somewhere else.

The Burrow was separate from him. It was the place where he pretended he’d been going on blind dates with some cute girls, and where he was just a normal, lowly Ministry worker, with a couple friends, who did paperwork then went home. He didn't know how they thought of him, other than being the boring Weasley. 

He didn’t want to be the gay Weasley, so he settled for being the boring Weasley. 

‘Everyone, it’s time for everyone to make announcements!’ Molly shouted. She looked expectantly at Bill, who avoided her eyes. They all knew, and refused to acknowledge, the fact that Molly Weasley wanted grandbabies. Percy was sure that she had high chairs stashed away somewhere upstairs so she could invite them over once the babies were born. 

'Fleur and I are going to go on a vacation next week, we're going to Portkey over to France and stay there for two weeks. Does that count as an announcement?' he asked looking at Molly. 

'Of course, Bill! Have a wonderful time! We're going to miss you two next Sunday!' she said. 

Fleur smiled prettily. 'Of course! But my family will be very happy to see me, they 'ave been missing very much. Molly, you are very lucky, to have almost all of your children here like this!' Fleur cried, showering them all in her infectious happiness, her zeal of life. 

'Why thank you, Fleur. I always loved having my babies close to home!' Molly replied, gazing out at the lot of them with a distant fondness in her eyes. She and Arthur turned to the twins.

Charlie wasn’t there, and they went from oldest to youngest, so the twins were next. As a rule, Percy did not make announcements. It would be nothing they wanted to hear if he did. Hey, mum, dad, I got another promotion. I'm Minster for Magic now! Or better yet, I'm going to be on a vacation with my close friends and secret husband so that we can go to all the nude beaches in France! You've met him before, he was the twins best friend, Oliver Wood!

‘We’ve gotten a seat on the Diagon Alley board of business!’ Fred shouted, and Percy startled, wincing at the obscene volume. That would be good for business, probably. He had a good working knowledge of all the business going on in Wizarding Britain because of all the trade regulations he enforced as Head of the Department of International Magical Cooperation. 

Working in the interests of the British as he conned the rest of the world into believing they were nice, he was very understanding of the Board. He was proud of the twins though, because that was a lot of power and a lot of help for their shops. Weasley's Wizard Wheezes was fast approaching the most popular store in all of Britain, and once they reached the Continent, they would be the best there, too. 

Arthur was congratulating them and Molly was cooing. He smiled, inclining his head at George, who smiled brilliantly. Fred clapped a hand on his twin's shoulder. Angelina called to Katie, 'A damn good announcement!' They all lifted their glass for a toast. 

Ron held his glass with a grip that might make it shatter. And Ron seemed to be squeezing Harry’s hand quite painfully, if Harry’s grimacing was anything to go by. He idly wondered what Ron was so worried about. Because there was ertainly worry all over his face, if his furrowed eyebrows framing blown eyes were anything to go by. In fact, he looked like he might cry. What had gotten Ron so terrified?

Percy guessed he would find out, as the fervor died down and they looked expectantly at Ron. He took a deep breath, and then another, and another.

‘Mum, Dad. Guys.’ He looked at all of them, abject fear and misery radiating out from him. 

‘I have something to say, that is very important to me, and a very important part of me. I was never quite sure how to, like, tell you? Yeah. Um. I hope that you understand that this is something to respect, and, um, and love me for. What I mean to say is.’ He shook his head, and Percy felt awful. He knew where this was going. He knocked the rest of his wine back and poured another glass, as Ron went on.

‘I mean, I’m saying, I guess I want you to know that I’m gay. I like men.’ 

He was met with silence. Molly looked like she wanted to cry, Bill was whispering furiously in Fleur's ear, and the twins were getting ready to tell a joke. Ginny looked livid.

He remembered the jokes the twins played, finding someone that was gay, in the closet or out, and charming their forehead to say the F word, or fairies to fly around their face. Bill and Ginny would be unsure enough of having a gay brother that their discomfort would turn to hate. They’d probably tell him so. Molly had never really grasped the concept of a nontraditional family, either, and she would be disappointed. They weren’t homophobic, not necessarily, they would love Ron no matter what. They would love him if he turned into the next Voldemort. 

But they didn’t understand one bit about what it meant to be gay. Percy had been married to Oliver Wood for three years, and they hadn’t even invited a Weasley over for tea to pretend they were roommates. The mounting unease in the room, a heavy blanket of waiting settling over them before someone broke the silence with something they couldn't take back.

Percy had to do something, before Arthur asked if he was ‘just confused’ or the twins called him the F word. Before Ginny left the room to process.

So steeling himself, for the first time all dinner, Percy spoke. Ron looked at him about to cry. ‘I’m really glad you were brave enough to come out to us Ron. I guess that’s the Gryffindor coming out in you though, isn’t it? I’m sure all of us will support you. I know it can be hard to come out, especially to people you love. Are you seeing anyone?’

The rest of the family seemed struck dumb, enough that their previous words were forgotten. Ron looked knowingly at him, and Percy smiled. ‘Yeah, Percy, thank you. I’m seeing a boy who isn’t out yet, actually. We’ve been dating about three months.’

Percy’s eyes flicked to Harry. ‘That’s interesting. Is it serious, or more of a fling?’ 

Ron smiled nervously, looking towards Arthur and Molly one last time, presiding over the table, before turning fully to Percy. ‘He’s great. I don’t want to give too much away, but we’re pretty serious.’ Harry was smiling, almost embarrassed, beside him. Oh, they were definitely dating. 

‘Well, I’m glad for you. I hope you made the right decision,’ Molly said, casting a placating smile towards her youngest son, and Percy sighed, leaning back in his chair. Crisis averted. 

The rest of the family peppered him with questions. ‘Is he hot? Like, objectively,’ Ginny asked, leaning closer to Ron. Her boyfriend frowned, looking disgruntled, next to her. 

'Have you had sex?' Fred asked. Percy wrinkled his nose. 

'Maybe you could invite him to dinner? I'm sure the family will just love him, as much as you do,' Arthur said, stilted. Percy sighed. At least he was trying.

'Yeah, I think he's hot. Maybe not, though. Probably not your taste, Ginny. I'm not sharing details of my sex life, Fred, you always ask, stop asking. And once he comes out, Dad, I'll be sure that you all are the first to meet him,' Ron answered. The others readied for another barrage of questions. 

Molly asked, 'Is he a nice British boy? I hope he's British.' She scrutinized Ginny carefully, as her youngest rolled her eyes. It was no secret that Molly had plenty of opinions on her children's choices in partners. Surprisingly enough, the twins had been the ones to gain her approval the most.

Hermione smiled genially around the table. 'Maybe after dinner we can interrogate Ron? This is announcements time, isn't it? Ginny, anything new happen with you?' she asked, leaving no uncertainty in the end of the conversation. Ginny brightened, smiling her thanks at Hermione as she launched into the new move she had been working on. 

Ron turned to Percy, a look on his face that quietly said thank you and I understand all at once. Genuine, perhaps, and totally grateful. Percy nodded once, before turning his attention to Ginny’s mastery of a new flying tactic. The scales had tipped in his favor, for once. With the Golden Trio shining their light on him, the family would become a little more whole. 

Ron smiled at him. Maybe Percy didn’t have to be so lonely after all. And maybe he could invite the couple to his and Oliver's house. Because it was about time that he and his family began to heal again. After all, Ron could use some advice to survive in their family now that he isn't just the Weasley who saved everyone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a continuation requested by idk_hi_iguess. Percy and Ron have a quick chat as they prepare to flee the dinner.

Before he made a quick exit from the dinner, foregoing any extra interaction, Percy was stopped by Ron. ‘Percy?’ he asked, nervous. 

Percy raised his eyebrows. ‘Yes?’ It was highly uncomfortable to be facing his brother’s thankful eyes. It was- odd, maybe. For all of his life, Percy had been an excellent person, smart and perfect in all the ways that mattered, and for all of his life, he’d resented that about himself. He’d resented that he was always so perfect, he’d resented that there was no way he could actually reach higher than perfection, and that excellence was so ingrained in him that it had become a joke. Older and wiser, on the other end of a war, he preferred the quiet parts of life, being a capable pillar standing quiet on the side of a room. 

Ron, for Merlin’s sake, was acting like Percy was a hero. ‘Yes?’ he asked again, like an impatient voice could sway his little brother from his mission to thank him, or something equally ridiculous. 

‘I just wanted to say thank you,’ Ron said stoutly. ‘I really appreciate it, Perce.’ 

‘What else?’ he snapped, fumbling with the clasp on his robe. They’d been through this- there had been a nod, hadn’t there?- he’d been quietly acknowledged, and now he could get out before he was overwhelmed with kind, Ron-like compliments. 

Ron rolled his eyes, stepping forward and pulling Percy into a hug. He was just an inch shorter than Percy, softer around the edges, and warm as Molly’s oven at Yule. Percy, in a distant way, wanted to cry. ‘I- Ron.’

‘I love you, Perce, I really do. That was pretty fuckin’ decent, back there. I’m so lucky to have a brother like you.’ A dangerous catch hummed in Percy’s tight throat. Neither of them seemed to be very good at the British upper lip. 

Percy was many things, but a good brother was not among them nearly as often as it could be. ‘Well, we all do things we shouldn’t,’ he managed to say.

Ron looked at him strangely. ‘I don’t regret telling mum and dad that I’m gay, Perce, it’s a relief, honestly.’ 

Percy sat on the little bench that all the shoes were stuffed under and patted for Ron to sit next to him. ‘What was the hardest part? Of telling them?’ 

Ron shrugged uncomfortably. His brows furrowed while he thought it through. ‘Not that we- I mean, not that I’m a sideshow, or anything, but I dated Lavender Brown, for Christ’s sake. No one would know, from looking at me. It’s not something you know, is it? I reckon that mum probably think it’s just a phase or something, it doesn’t feel like something Ron Weasley would be,’ he said, shrugging. 

Percy had been called a fag more than once in his early Hogwarts years for not bothering to craft a perfect identity of straightness. Sixth year, he and Penelope Clearwater began, and it was an open secret among the sixth years. All the rumors from years of bookishness and clean robes were gone by the next day. Just another part of his facade. His only problem was the scrutiny. The otherness.

‘Yeah, well, you’ve always belonged in this family,’ he laughed bitterly. ‘Try knowing for years and years that it would just be another way to separate you from…’ He trailed off, leaning on his elbows. 

Ron gaped. ‘You- you’re like that, too?’ he whispered. Percy raised his eyebrows. 

‘Would it be such a surprise, though? This family wants to define me, Ron, they want to understand what made me different from them. What made me turn out wrong,’ he said softly. ‘You’re a hero, and there’s never been a day that’s gone by where they hated you. I think…’ He chose his next words carefully. ‘I think that being gay would have afforded them an opportunity to judge me on another level.’

Ron hugged him. Again. ‘I’ll back you up, Perce. You know that, right?’ he asked, leaning back. 

‘Ronniekins!’ Fred shouted. ‘Ron! We have more questions!’ They both ignored him. 

‘I know.’ Percy nodded diplomatically. ‘But not just yet, I don’t think. You don’t know what it means to be on shaky ground with them. You don’t know what it feels like to just have everything, all at once, pulled out from under you. You’ve always had mum and dad, you always will, but I haven’t.’ 

‘Percy, seriously, you don’t have to be worried that they’ll kick you out of the family, or- they reacted fine, and for you, they will too, I reckon.’ Percy’s lips twisted. 

In one abrupt movement he stood and turned, facing Ron. ‘It’s hard enough to be the black sheep of the family, Ron, I don’t need another separation just yet. Once we’re on more even footing, I can tell them.’ (He’d been telling himself the same thing, ever since he and Oliver first kissed in fourth year.) 

‘If you- wait, do you have anyone?’ Ron asked, digging around in his pockets for something. He looked up to Percy’s surprised eyes. ‘Wait, you do?’ 

‘Don’t sound so shocked,’ he said grouchily. Ron grinned, holding out a paper that he’d gotten from his pocket.

‘Congrats! That’s wonderful, Percy, having a boyfriend is great. A surprise, though. How long?’ 

‘A few years.’ The look on Ron’s face was enough to coax a smile onto Percy’s. 

‘Years! Wow. That’s- that’s a while. Anyway, you could come over to Harry and I’s place one night if you want. I’ll owl you.’ Ron shoved his hands into his pockets, rocking on his feet. 

The paper he’d found was an address. It had to be- a Fidelius Charm? The things the two of them were so casually involved in, it made Percy laugh. ‘Nice to know you’re protected,’ he said, handing the paper back over. Ron shrugged, embarrassed. 

‘It belonged to his godfather.’ Percy’s stomach overturned. The man that had- the one who’d died at the Ministry. 

‘Well. Dinner would be wonderful, I think. I could cook something to bring, Oliver has this wonderful cookie recipe.’ His eyes flicked up to Ron’s.

‘That would be nice.’ 

‘Yes. Nice.’ A tentative smile appeared on his face, and he remembered the burning embers of hope inside the chest of pain the Ministry had come to mean to him during the war years. The strings of lingering tension just seemed to snap between them, and Ron hugged him all over again. Percy closed his eyes and held on for dear life.

**Author's Note:**

> Feed me with kudos and I'll post another Percy Weasley oneshot next Sunday!


End file.
